There is such a deafening silence around domestic violence; a societal silence that perpetuates the abuse.
Victims are silent out of fear and that fear has many names.
Yet society is also silent, not out of fear, but out of a need to continually sweep the unacceptable under the rug. They hold galas to raise money for shelters; donate old, used articles from their lives to those less fortunate. Society feigns horror that domestic violence even exists in this enlightened day and age.
It whispers in corners, when its voice should be raised. It redirects the eye, so it can't be seen. It couches the brutality, by calling it unacceptable behavior.
Society looks at "his" childhood or "her's" for some way to make the horribly wrong, seem right.
"He must have been abused as a child - seen his father abuse his mother.That's why he does it."
"She must have been abused as a child - seen her father abuse her mother.That's why she stays."
"They don't know any other way."
There is some kernel of truth, some validity in all of the mumbo-jumbo, in the psycho-babble, so society remains silent.
And another woman screams, another child cries and another life is altered.
Some women stay in these relationships, because it's all they have ever known. They believe it is all they will ever have; that they don't deserve better. It's a warped view in their vision of love.
Water on rock, over time, they are beaten down.
If you tell someone often enough they are worthless, they will believe you. And if you back that up with any form of abuse, they will believe you sooner than not.
Within this enlightened age, we hear so much about self-worth, yet once the abuse has begun, even the most intelligent, the most seemingly balanced, can falter and slip into darkness.
It's disheartening to hear news reports after the fact.
"We knew they weren't getting along. The police had been out on a number of occasions, but we never thought this would happen! He seemed like such a good guy and we just thought she was shy."
"I told her to leave him. He was a jerk! I think she had family she could go stay with."
"I was gonna call her in a week or two to see if things had calmed down."
"The poor kids. What will happen to them now? I hope somebody will step in."
Then the news switches to local weather and we go back to our dinner.
Knowing, trusting, hoping that somebody, somewhere will pick up the phone the next time.
All the while, in the back of our minds we wonder, "Why didn't she just leave? I'm sure there are places she could have gone for help. Like the place, oh what was it called? The one they talked about at the gala?"
Society talks about domestic violence, yet it's in what they don't say, that says so very much.
And in that silence, is approval.